In Wait

this is a little something i came up with while bored today, something i tend to do...

When it rains, it pours
When you’ve settled in that dreary spot
A damp shadow comes
Awaiting your doubtless thoughts to spoil
Wearing you thin as a fear takes grip
It’s fingers wound tightly round your soul
And speaks to you in dreaded whispers
Cold, dark, and old
A musty smell rises in the corner of your mind
Words of which you cannot hide
They burden you with grievous regret
Wherein silent assailants lie in wait
As mystical may be
But bare feet callus and cold hands shiver
As monstrous beasts awake
And the fear that once took hold no longer takes you by the hand
And leads you down dark passages to leave you, left for dead
For now that dread has weakened and departs you with the sweet scent of concurrence
This new disposition as might in you continually grow
To bring hope for battered, bruised, and used hearts whom know no bounds
To love the ground on which we stand
And sing with joyous sounds

i meant this poem to be a symbol of the battle we fight constantly. choosing to either submerge ourself in our negative thoughts, or having the will to see the bright side(:

i wish you all luck in this battle

God bless(:

heads up

hey people, just a heads up.

i changed my name to fit my personality better, but yeah its the only thing that's changed. sorry for any confusion.

lunch break!

finally, a chance to sit in peace and quiet and enjoy a good peanut butter and banana sandwhich, and cheese and crackers, and my mom's friends' salad ;)

okay, so my mom teaches fourth grade, and her school has already started :/ so instead of staying home, like yesterday, i decided to join her in her quest to educate children that don't know the meaning of the word achieve...interesting. like they literally don't! i was talking to my mom and one of her students came up and asked what a goal was...i just watched as my mother explained that a goal was something you want to get done/finish and whatnot. afterwords i told her that achieve was probably the word she was looking for and she replied by telling me that these kids didn't know the meaning of the word. hmm....

oh i am hungry. just felt the need to send a shout out and share that with people(:

ohh, just wondering, what are like your favorite things to eat for lunch? anything interesting that i should maybe try or whatnot?

umm....

i don't know what to call this post really. i was just struck with a feeling of need to post.

a lot of things have been running through my mind lately. things are a little harder than i'd like them to be right now. i guess i should maybe start with my story...i'm going to be very vague, considering i'd like to get to my point. but anyway, i lived here in North Carolina for most of my life, North Carolina was all i knew basically. well, about three years ago, my parents decided to move us to Texas. maybe that's where the Lord was calling us...i don't know. all i know is that that moment when i was informed of this unfortunate event, i was devestated. my oh so fragile heart had been ripped out and thrown to the ground. in a matter of seconds. it was terrifying, exilerating, and devestating. all at the same time. i mean, we all love new things, you know? it would've been an adventure for me if i hadn't been leaving my entire life behind.

i spent two years there with my family. two long, yet short, years. it was hard to get used to, but eventually i pushed all my feelings of loneliness aside and made friends. amazing friends i might say. i still keep in touch with some of them. i think it made me more open to the world in a way. there's something about moving halfway accross the country that makes you feel as though the world is quite larger than you expected.

moving back. boy, was that harder than it sounds. i had lost two years with some of my greatest friends. two years i would never get back. and foolish little me thought that not much had changed. i soon learned that i was so wrong. i mean, honestly, i expected it to be fun. it was on the verge of depressing. and still kind of is. i still miss a lot more than i hoped to. and rebuilding friendships...its been a year since i've been back. and i still feel distant. it's taken quite the toll on me. i still get that left out feeling. i still feel as though i don't belong anywhere. but i don't feel sorry for myself. people everywhere have to go through much much worse.

so i guess my 'point' is that no matter what your situation, it helps a little to aknowledge the good. i mean, at least i have friends. at least i have food, clothes, parents, electricity, my voice. i don't know what i would do if i couldnt sing(:

so no matter your situation, it helps to focus on the ups, and always know, that no matter how clique it sounds, there's always someone out there that loves you when you feel that no one else does.